Source:

http://news.tes.co.uk/b/news/2013/10/09/the-10-best-maths-jokes-as-nominated-by-teachers-and-twitter.aspx

@MaxineHowells2h

Talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen for his farmer. He comes back and says ‘All 40 accounted for.’ Farmer says, ‘I’ve only got 36!’ Sheepdog replies, ‘I know, but I rounded them up.'

@AnnaMFortune

Two cats called '1,2,3' & 'un,deux,trois' had swim race across channel.

1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!

*Followed by seven brilliant runners-up:*

@LocalSchoolsN22h

Hired an odd-job man to do 8 jobs for me. When I got back, he'd only done jobs 1,3,5, and 7

@TheRedshiftAcad3h

Have you heard about the mathematical plant? It has square roots

@ppelk1h

After careful investigation, it was found that aliens' heights were paranormally distributed

@sann06384h

I hit someone with a scientific calculator - I used the cosh button

@Mylosafe4h

What kind of tree could a maths teacher climb? = Geometry

@alexamcgregor4h

What do you get if you cross a maths teacher and a clock? Arithma-ticks!

@Maths_George

Last night I dreamed that I was weightless! I was like, 0mg

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